Wednesday, February 25, 2015

$30 Carrot Waffles

Sue is married to Larry, who left her a few months ago for Gloria. Didn't divorce her, just took the new truck and moved into Gloria's condo on the bay, leaving Sue at home with her two daughters, Cindy and Wendy. If Larry were a decent fellow, he'd give Sue some money or sign the divorce papers allowing her to apply and receive social services like food stamps.

Larry is an asshole. So when Sue goes to the local welfare office she is told that on paper she has too much money to qualify for any assistance. Today's funny joke comes at the expense of our girl who only has $11 in the bank with the mortgage due next week, and Larry is on a fishing trip, and not returning calls.

Thank goodness Sue's daughters are in middle school and can be taken care of by the public education system while she goes and gets a job with her multitude of coding experience. Or that dental hygienist program that Larry wouldn't pay for, for fear she wouldn't be home to make his dinner. She can easily lean right the fuck into that shit, AMIRITE?

Okay but see really Sue ends up at the Waffle House off exit number 3 in Bumfuck, because luckily Larry's sister knows what a shithead her brother is, and as senior waitress and sometime night manager, she is able to get Sue a dish-washing gig on the weekends. This is also pretty great since she gets a shift meal. It hardly matters to her that it's whatever the cooks deemed too rotten to throw onto the brunch buffet.